i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
