Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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