i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
