I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's blow job season.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
