I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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