I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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