I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
