:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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