Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
