singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
