Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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