you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize