Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize