As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
