Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
