the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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