He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
