i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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