Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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