You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
