420 ftw
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
