If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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