I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
