My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize