I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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