should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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