Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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