Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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