haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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