I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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