she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
