she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize