You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no you cant smoke seaweed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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