the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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