So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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