do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
