I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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