Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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