But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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