I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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