You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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