he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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