I got chris browned last night
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish you could order shots online.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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