i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
