Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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