We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Boobs speak an international language.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
