I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
