I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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