K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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