where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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