I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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