that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
