Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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