oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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