just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
