She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
