The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
