Already got asked if we're dating
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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